A state of constant discomfort

My life has been a mostly self induced whirlwind.

As I gain wisdom I understand the importance of the delicate balance between chaos and complexity.

When I was young I despised routine and comfort.

Though my parents are very disciplined creatures of habit, I wanted to explore the other side. I had questions.

So I set off to explore the unknown, the dreamy Yin. To sample everyone, everything, every moment, every inch in every corner of this life.

From the floor of an underground punk concert, to the Armenian mafia, I wanted to learn about chaos. 

I saw the best things and I saw the worst things. 
But I know now the value of both sides now.
Life is yin and yang.

Part chaos, part order.

Life is half light, half dark.

Neither is anything without the other. But both are dangerously damaging in excess. 

So the best place I’ve found is to carefully tiptoe the edge separating the two.

Practice with the Feeling of Chaos

We often think the problem is with our outer circumstances — we have too much to do, everything is messy! — or we think the problem is that we’re not good in staying on top of everything.

But there’s another approach, rather than changing external circumstances or getting better at doing everything right.

The approach is to learn to find peace with chaos.

It’s an acceptance that our lives will always be a bit chaotic, turbulent, messy. Our lives will never be in order. And so we can accept this chaos as not just a part of life, but the experience of life itself. This chaos is how life feels.

And then we can learn to relax, and find peace. Imagine finding calm while out in a stormy sea. Learning to love the storm itself.

So here’s how I suggest practicing with this:

  • Write out a reminder to practice during the day — a note to yourself like, “Feel the chaos.” Then practice noticing when you’re feeling scattered, overwhelmed, messy.
  • When you notice the feeling … pause. Take a breath. Bring your awareness to the bodily sensations of the messiness. Stay with these sensations for as long as you’re able, coming back to them if your mind gets caught up in thinking.
  • Bring a gentle, open, non-judgmental awareness to the sensations of scatteredness. Can you be curious about these sensations, wanting to know more about them?
  • See these sensations as simply how chaos feels for you right now. Can you learn to relax with these sensations? Can you learn to breathe and find gratitude for them?

If you practice with these sensations of fear & messy chaos, learn to get more comfortable with the chaos so you can face it head on. You can learn to relax, and flow with how things are, take the hits as they come. And restore order.


The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows.

Published by TheGoodEffect

Lust for Life

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